We Tried So Hard, And Got So Far
by MissShips-A-Lot
Summary: Felix jumped back and bared his teeth, his grip tightening on his weapon. "I DON'T WANNA DIE, CRY!" he confessed, letting a few tears roll down his damaged skin. A dull pain was set in his stomach as he backed away slowly. "And, really, I...I really don't want you to die, either..." he trailed off. He didn't want to go any further into this already horrible topic.


**Author's Note: This kept me up most of my all-nighter.**

**Anyway, I had to write this three times because my computer kept crashing and I finally learned to not run SAI and dA whilst writing.**

**Enjoy! c:**

* * *

_It starts with one thing, I don't know why_

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_

_Keep that in mind_

* * *

Neither of them knew how it got like this.

"I-I..." the Swede sputtered, his eyes fixated at his opponent and gun raised, aimed at his forehead. His gun trembled in his grasp, his hand becoming sweaty. Two fingers lay on the trigger. He was waiting for the perfect moment to defend himself, paranoid about any movement he might make. His bloody, cut face was also stained with tears and was red from crying.

"You _what?_" growled the brunet man, who seemed to have lost all sense of reality as he forced himself to laugh between each breath. He, too, had a handheld weapon aimed at his blond opponent's head and was shaking uncontrollably with anticipation. "_WHAT, FELIX?!_" he screamed, raising his weapon higher and taking a couple steps towards his Swedish friend. Felix jumped back and bared his teeth, his grip tightening on his weapon.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE, CRY!" he confessed, letting a few tears roll down his damaged skin. A dull pain was set in his stomach as he backed away slowly. "And, really, I...I really don't want _you_ to die either..." he trailed off, not wanting to go any further into this already horrible topic. He forced himself to calm down and loosened his grip on the gun. He leaned against the wall behind him.

* * *

_All I know, time is a valuable thing_

_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_

_Watch it count down to the end of the day_

_The clock ticks life away_

_It's so unreal_

* * *

The American suppressed himself and felt tears running down the porcelain edge of a cracked and bloody mask. He stifled a laugh then eased his arm a bit. Felix flinched at the sudden movement, but never shot and became quite tense.

Felix sighed and tried to keep composed. "H-How did we get like this, Cry...?" he managed to choke out a few words before coughing and making Ryan raise his weapon again, leaning forward and tightening his grip on his handheld. He scanned Felix up and down before stepping back again.

Ryan sighed. "I really don't know, friend..." his gun shuttered in his grapple, but never ceased to aim anywhere but the head of his best friend. "But all I know is that we have to end this..." he said carelessly, softly, not wanting to increase the amount of tension there already was in this room. His voice was shaky and uneven. "Dying isn't an option. For you, at least." he insisted.

"Well what the _hell_ are we supposed to do then?!" The Swede raised his voice to Ryan, tears burning in his eyes. He quietly sobbed as he watched Ryan look at him with panicky, wide eyes.

* * *

_Didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window_

_Trying to hold on, but you didn't even know_

_Wasted it all just to watch you go, I kept everything inside_

_And even though I tried, it all fell apart_

_What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when_

_I tried so hard, and got so far_

_But in the end, it doesn't even matter_

* * *

The American chuckled, more tears mixing with the dried blood upon his masked face. He stopped breathing heavily and let his muscles relax. He was still holding the gun with one arm, aimed at his Swedish friend's quivering body. "I'm not going to kill you, Pewds-" he said somberly, lowering his weapon to his side, putting a confused expression upon his blond friend's face. "If it _really_ takes one of us fucking _dying_ to make things right again, then..." he trailed off, letting his lip quiver and tears fall. "I'll do it, friend, for the sake of everyone..." he continued, then took a deep breath.

"I'll die."

Felix stopped. He was completely stunned. Trembling in his stance, he shook his head in disbelief. "No, Cry, you can't! You can't be thinking-"

"Oh, but I am, friend." The brunet stifled a laugh, but forced more tears to slide off of his porcelain mask. "This is a sick place; a hellhole, even. They forced us in a room together and said one of us had to die, correct?" Ryan glanced at Felix, who still had his gun raised just in case. "They never said how." The American made his hand into the shape of a gun and playfully put it to the side of his head. He pretended to pull the trigger and shoot himself outright, his expression showing he was sure about what he was doing, but he was also nervous about it.

* * *

_I had to fall, to lose it all_

_But in the end, it doesn't even matter_

* * *

Felix inhaled a sharp breath and pursed his lips. A 'tch' noise came from his mouth. "No, I can't let you do this, Cry-"

"DAMN IT, PEWDS!" The American snapped and raised his weapon with one hand and took a step towards the Swede. His eyes were wide and looking directly at Felix's defeated expression. He bared his teeth as he spoke. "_Stop_ making this so hard for me! It's already bad enough I won't be able to see you ever again, so please, friend, _shut the fuck up!_" he finished, breathing fast and audibly. He closed his eyes, opened his mouth and sobbed painfully, putting a hand to his face. "I'm sorry..." he dropped his arm holding the gun down to his side again.

All Felix could do at this point was watch as tears ran down the porcelain edge of the American's mask.

* * *

_One thing, I don't know why_

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_

_Keep that in mind_

_I designed this rhyme, to remind myself of a time when_

_I tried so hard_

* * *

Ryan finally laid off and wiped the tears from his eyes, smearing a bit of blood. He cleared his throat and sniffed a couple times before walking over to the blond. 'You won't even remember me, friend. You'll be...you'll be okay." his voice was raspy and uneasy, followed by the streaming of more tears. "You'll be okay."

The Swede moved away from the brunet, gun shaking in his nervous grasp. He lowered his weapon slightly when he saw Ryan's disappointed expression. He looked so remorseful and sorrowful it hurt Felix, and he desperately tried not to think about it.

Ryan sighed as he knew what he wanted to do. Walking backwards to his original spot, his free hand reached to the back of his head where the latches that held his mask to his face were. He grinned as the mask fell to the concrete and Felix glanced behind him.

* * *

_I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this_

_There's only one thing you should know_

* * *

"There's...one more thing I want to do before I die." Ryan turned around to face the blond and didn't give him any time to realize he was _actually _seeing his _actual_ face before getting onto his knees and kissing him gently.

The Swede was startled just like any normal person, but kissed back soon enough and ran a hand through Ryan's hair. The kiss wasn't invasive, it was full of apologies, love, and passion, and Felix accepted it all completely, letting Ryan hold his head in place and take control for the first time. He pulled away and his lips lingered over the brunet's and found himself staring into the American's deep green eyes. Though his eyes were bloodshot and dried tears covered his cheeks, Felix found him to be perfect.

"I'm doing this for you, friend." Ryan finished, and he took three long strides back to where he was standing. "For everyone."

* * *

_I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this_

_There's only one thing you should know_

* * *

The American laughed half-heartedly as he put the gun to the right side of his head. "Ha...who knew _this_ would be the cause of my death, huh?" he forced a smile, just a little. "I guess you never know until you try."

Felix sat in a fetal position next to a wall, glancing over at Ryan every once and a while.

_**Watch.**_

An electronic voice sounded over their heads and startled them, but it quickly took effect. The Swede spun around until he was a couple feet away from the brunet's legs, quietly sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, looking into his blue eyes once again.

"I-I...I won't forget you if that's what you're thinking, Ryan." Felix confirmed with a straight-faced expression. He forced himself to chuckle. "B-Bro-day every day, right?" he joked, letting more tears fall.

"A-ha...yeah." The brunet chuckled as the gun trembled in his adhesive grasp. "It's still going to be even _after_ I die. I won't forget, but...Felix..." Ryan let the salty tears fall down his face as he looked to the ground. He took a deep breath, blinking a few times to look Felix straight in the eyes. "Try to forget all of this, okay? For me?" he pleaded softly. All he got in response was a slight nod, and he smiled again.

"I knew I could count on you."

* * *

_I tried so hard, and got so far_

_But in the end, it doesn't even matter_

* * *

"Well, I guess this is it, huh." whimpered Ryan weakly, his voice raspy and a horrible pain in his chest. "I...I really do love you, Felix."

Felix looked up at Ryan's tear-soaked face and into his eyes. "That's the thing I don't want to forget." he said, lip quivering as he tried not to cry. The dull pain in his chest got worse when he heard the clicking of a gun.

"I know. You don't have to forget that, ha ha." he laughed nervously, but let out a sob of pain at the same time he stepped back a bit.

"Goodbye, friend."

The Swede's eyes filled with horror as he watched Ryan's head jerk to the side as the bullet entered his head and how the blood shot out, splattering the wall beside him, and saw the way his eyes rolled back into his skull, and how he fell limp to the ground. His lifeless body laid sprawled out on the cold, concrete floor, his pool of blood slowly growing with every second that passed.

Felix sat there on his knees, his jaw dropped and his breathing was hitched and shaky.

That was it.

He's gone, and they won't care.

They _won't care._

It was all for nothing and he knew it.

Felix lost it, and collapsed in a sobbing, convulsing heap onto the ground in the pool of Ryan's blood before workers unlocked the metal door and grabbed him by both his arms. Felix hollered and yelled at the top of his lungs, 'NO, NO, NO..' over and over again as the men hit him repeatedly until he quieted down. He was dragged across the ground, bloody, bruised, red and all, until out of the horror-filled room.

Being dragged carelessly across the halls of the industry, he stopped crying. He thought about what Ryan had said before he met his demise and he smiled. The rushing sound of his ripped jeans being pulled across the hard surface filled his ears.

"Goodbye, friend. I won't forget about you."

* * *

_I had to fall, to lose it all_

_But in the end, it doesn't even matter_


End file.
